Being There

It is my job to model a way of being with the dying, for the volunteers, for patients, for family members. Sitting with Leon yesterday as he died was important, it reassured the other residents. They know they can call on me to empty that urinal, light that cigarette, sit down and gossip or talk about dying. Whatever.

Volunteers are sometimes shocked when they start: there is so much ugliness and loveliness that happens on the ward. There is laughter and terror. I try to be really aware of what is going on for them and support them as best I can.   Someone may come to me and say ‘I don’t know how to deal with the fact that the smell of feces is turning my stomach,’ or, two family members are arguing. And I gently ease them towards their point of fear.  I don’t know how to keep my heart open and be in the moment. The work has taught me that. 

I’ve seen time and time again the impact that volunteers have. The fact that they choose to come and be here, to witness the difficult and the beautiful in each and every resident. Their motivation to serve inspires us and fundamentally changes the way care happens here. Without them it would be an institution, not a community.