Inspiration

Edwin is restless and trying hard to move his chair into the hallway leading to the common room. He’s a very large man who suffers from schizophrenia and Huntington's chorea, making him at times capable of assault behavior.

You would never have known that to see the nursing assistant bring him milk, telling Edwin he is her friend, touching his nose in a gesture of playful affection, and saying "I love you" with her whole face displaying the truth of her words. A while later, another staff person comes by to look at Edwin’s hands, and talk with him about how nicely his nails had been clipped that morning.

I am touched by her generous affection, and utter lack of fear of this man who is probably four times her size. They are like family, I think to myself, reflecting with some guilt about how I have had to overcome considerable resistance and wariness to be with Edwin.

Their example makes it easier for me to approach him later on, and to let my heart open as I sit holding his hand and rubbing his shoulders. Again I am struck by how much wisdom and compassion the staff bring to their very difficult jobs. The ways they show love to the residents makes living possible while dying takes its course.